Love, Honour and Obey? Ya, Right…
What happened to the days when the vows “to love, honour and obey” were taken seriously and actually meant something?
From Statistics Canada:
“The rate of divorce rises rapidly in the first few years of marriage. In 2008, the divorce rate peaked after three years of marriage, when just over 30 out of 1,000 marriages ended in divorce (link removed, visit site for details). The rate of divorce decreased with each additional year of marriage. In 2008, about 18 out of 1,000 couples married 10 years obtained a divorce, while 10 out of 1,000 marriages lasting 20 years ended in divorce. The majority (59%) of divorces in 2008 were of couples married for fewer than 15 years.”
According to Statistics Canada, almost half of all marriages are not expected to last 30 years, but the longer two people are married, chances are they would not divorce.
Now, what’s the point of these stats? Numbers don’t lie. Odds are, if you marry, you will likely divorce. Sad.
I’ve worked in family law now for over eleven years. I can’t even guesstimate the number of divorce files I’ve assisted on. Perhaps being in this field has made me cynical, jaded even, when it comes to love and marriage. But here’s what prompted this little writing exercise; waking up this morning to the news of “Kimye’s” pregnancy.
Her pregnancy in no way affects me, directly. Indirectly; however, it affects a whole generation of young adults who are being inundated by media reports of this “love story”. What a lot of people are forgetting is that she is still married! For better or worse huh?
Sure, we knew from the get go that her marriage was a farce, a ratings grab, but to take something as sacred as the institution of marriage and turn it into a circus, is simply disgusting. And she’s not the only one.
We’re raising a generation of children who don’t know what it takes to be a wife or husband; to work toward having a successful marriage, hell, people my age don’t even get it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that because two people marry, they should stay together forever even if they are miserable, what I’m saying is that before two people marry they need to understand what marriage means, to them and their future (maybe) spouse.
Go to marriage counselling, talk to each other, determine what each of you expect from the other, realize that those little quirks you love so much now may drive you mad in a few years, discuss finances, how you will raise your children (if you even want children), talk about SEX, but most importantly, know and love yourself.